When I opened up this computer, there, on the screen I saw our family picture from last year, November 6th, which was Tim's and my one year anniversary. I saw a happy, little family of three that had no idea they would be a family of four in a short year's time. My how things change. And, my how things are about to change!
We went to our 28 week (27 wks, 3 days) appointment today. First I had to do the glucose test, which I was uncertain about. But, it wasn't that bad in my opinion. It was a small bottle of orange stuff that tasted like non-carbonated orange soda with a little extra kick that kind of made my throat feel funny. But it wasn't a big deal at all. We will know the results from that test some time this week. While we waited we got to look at an ultrasound and Mr. Judah was so busy we could hardly make out any of his cute, little body parts. We did see a foot, a 5 cm foot. Then, we got to switch to the 3D ultra sound. That was so incredible, but he was so uncooperative lol. He FINALLY showed us a side view of his face, but would never completely move his chunky little arms out of the way! So sweet though.
We learned that our [not so] little guy is already head down, and weighing in at a whopping 3 pounds! YES, that makes this new momma a little nervous. Our doctor says he is 78 out of 127 weight-wise, so yeah, a little bigger than average. I had really been thinking I wasn't doing that bad...you know, with food and stuff. I know I could always make some better choices, but I felt like I was doing pretty decent. Apparently not. Anyhow, I just need to make some better choices about what I eat, which probably means less cookie dough pop tarts. Bummer. But, I just want him to be so healthy and happy and perfect! This whole pregnancy my prayer has been that some way, some how, my body would be enough to help him grow perfectly and that it wouldn't let him down in any way, and that continues to be my prayer.
However, I have a feeling that this little man won't see December on that side of the womb! I expect him at the end of November. We'll see. Doctor says we'll look again at 34 weeks and we might "have to talk about some things." I assume that means "talk about" induction, taking him early, something of the sort. I would've expected that to worry me, but it didn't. It kind of gave me peace in the sense that maybe it will help me know what to do, regarding natural, epidural, induction, no induction, etc. I have been praying for some guidance and wisdom about the best choice for us. But, hearing that today reminded me that it doens't necessarily matter what I plan for, but that I will know the best choice to make when the time comes to make it. I guess what I'm trying to say is that it sort of relieved some pressure off my shoulders in a way. I have really been considering taking a birthworks class, and I still want to do that, but I don't know if we will get to. Driving to Little Rock on a week night for 8 weeks would be difficult.
Also, while we were waiting to do the blood work, we went and pre-registered at the hospital. That's where we got to waste time and energy filling out all these papers about our insurance that is not paying a single penny for this pregnancy or delivery. Have I mentioned that I HATE INSURANCE !!!!! We would be better off without it since we basically pay for everything ourselves and pay $400/month on top of that. Thanks Obama. I can't stand you. There you go....that's for anyone who ever wondered about my political stance (for numerous other reasons).
Afterwards we went back over to do the blood work and as I sat there getting my blood drawn I started to imagine myself going into the hospital to prepare for delivery. For a while after that I had a sense of fear and being overwhelmed. All of the sudden, everything got really real. I started to think about things I have not thought about up to this point. "What if I am scared out of my mind?" " Can I do it?" "This baby is coming really soon and there is no turning back.....does that make me a bad mom? ...Of course not. I don't want to turn back. But, I have never been a mom and now I will never not be a mom." ...... "You. are. nuts." ..... "Shouldn't I be excited?" "Why am I so worried?" .... "Life will never be the same. .... that's a good thing. that's a GREAT thing!....that is a scary thing." And that was my conclusion. That this is scary, and it is also very great. And, it is okay that it is scary and great at the same time. I shared some of these thoughts with my husband afterwards, and told him I sometimes feel like I am 17 years old and not sure how I could be a mom. He was pretty good about listening. Turns out he has some fears of his own, but he seems pretty confident in me. in us. And I think I can rest in that, too.
We sent Judah's pictures to my parents, Papa Gg and MiMi, and Tim's mom, Ganny, and Aunt Velda stopped by tonight to get a peek, too. I love watching all of their excitement about baby boy. They are going to be the best grandparents ever in the world! They already are! First to Landon and now to Judah. I also sent pictures to uncle Josh and Aunt Jenara, who are equally as proud! We are so lucky to have the family we have. SO lucky.
Our house still hasn't sold, but I have decided that it's Okay. We are thankful to have a house at all, and to have an empty bedroom that will work just perfectly for our son. .... our SON??? OUR SON! ... wow...that is weird. and also very cool! :) That is the second time that's happened to me today. When I filled out insurance papers at the hospital, I wrote that my relationship to Judah was "mother." Wow. It is just so unreal! ................ Anyway...the house...... I am okay here. I'm at the point now where I'm just ready to get his furniture in and make everything neat and cozy so we can be ready for him. Well, we are ready for him, but we are not ready for him.
Our first baby shower is on October 13th! That will be a big weekend for us! Josh will be home! :) We will have our shower Saturday. And Sunday we will do our maternity pictures with none other than Chris and Nancy with Christopher Nolan Photography! We couldn't be more excited about that! They have captured our most important moments up to this point and have been so great to have on the journey that we didn't even want to consider anyone else!
Well, here's to the past 28 weeks and here's to the next 12! We'll be ready for you, son! Mommy & Daddy love you! :)
