Our 1st Summer

This is one of those “mostly for me” posts. Our summer is coming to an end; my first summer as a SAHM. I wanted to capture a typical day, although this one is not truly typical because Landon is gone on vacation with his mom.
We have spent our summer taking walks with Jett in the wagon, and the big boys on various wheels, playing “shark attack” on the swing set and letting Jett swing, visiting the library weekly (to rent movies, not books of course), going to the water park, playing at the park, baking, bowling, watching and rewatching those library movies lol, and most of all, not being at work or school or daycare. We got up when we (Jett) wanted to. We played outside in pajamas and bare feet. We had nowhere to be at any specific time. And I wasn’t out there hustlin’ like a social worker, praying for clients to appear out of nowhere!
The boys had their fair share of arguments, but on those days when they snuck off to get ready together and came out twinning, I knew it would be a good day! Both in “thin” (athletic) clothes, tall black socks (Judah’s are dress socks...), wet hair combed sideways and wearing daddy’s cologne. Bubby and JuJu. Thick as thieves.
Jett has ironed out a fantastic nap schedule and has been a dream! Easy going, even napping at the pool, little guy. He typically naps 9:30-10:45 and 2-4. Both are flexible, depending on when he wakes up in the morning! I’ve been using  the first nap for my own time, and the second I will watch movies with the boys, or read.
Landon unloads the dishwasher and takes out the trash every day, and Judah collects laundry. They both clean up their rooms (sometimes). I do a load of laundry every day, but thanks to recent decluttering and a decent routine, I don’t spend a lot of time cleaning etc.
So today, Jett woke up at 6:30. He’s teething pretty badly, so he was awake twice last night, which meant I wasn’t ready to wake up at 6:30. I brought him in bed with me until 7:30. I got to chat with my sweet sister this morning, which is something else I’m so thankful for since I’ve been home! She and Cantor take walks and we get to chat, or I’ll call her while we’re walking Lol Judah woke up and wanted breakfast. Honey combs. I made his cereal. He pours the milk. I made Jett some oatmeal. He ate 1.5 bowls and a piece of peanut butter toast. He is a bottomless pit! We play in the floor for a while. I move the ottoman and sit at the edge of the rug to corral our mobile baby. Judah insists on making Jett a house out of couch cushions, so we did just that! We went outside to swing and Jett squeals with excitement! Judah wants to be pushed high in the swing and is just learning to jump out. He jumps out and asks “how high was I?” every time, and tries to beat it the next. We come in so Jett can nap. While he’s sleeping Judah and I get ready for the pool and do our chores. Then,  we make some lunch. I carried everything onto the back porch for a “picnic” just in time for Jett to wake up. I carried it all back in, made Jett’s lunch and got him up to eat. He ate for an hour...
It has been a lot cooler this week and the pool was chilly! We played there for over 3 hours. Jett is so good to get a power nap and wake up as happy as ever! I tried my best to capture Judah on video, as he danced everywhere he went. I was skeptical of taking three boys to the pool, alone, but we’ve been doing it weekly all summer, and it really has been great!
Today is Wednesday and Tim goes from work to church, so we’re on our own for dinner. Today we ate leftover lasagna.  On most days,  I will cook dinner while Jett throws crunchies on the floor and runs over them in his walker, and the big boys play outside.
We are pretty consistent about eating dinner at 6, because Jett goes to bed at 7:30. Then we get to snuggle the big boys while we tell them they’re going to bed  and then let them stay up an hour past....  baths get thrown in there somewhere. Tonight, Judah wanted to snuggle in my bed amd “look at different species of snakes” on my phone, folllowed by “funny cat videos,” and finishing it off with a bowl of honeycombs. I wouldn’t trade those time for anything.
I put him to bed, then sobbed myself stupid, reading a letter about kindergarten. He starts in 13 days. I can’t talk about it yet. Right now, we’re soaking up the last of our summer days because too soon he will be in school, Landon will be a 6th grader, amd Jett and mommy will be missing them....
This summer has been all I’ve ever wanted and more. Sometimes I still can’t believe I’m getting to do this, but most of the time it feels so natural that I barely remember not doing it. I feel so grateful to have shared this summer with them! ❤️

These 3 things.

I’m going to share a few “new” things I’ve been trying lately that seem to be working for me. Totally random, but maybe they’ll be helpful for someone else!
It turns out, there’s a little more to “adapting” to my new [best] job [ever] than I may have thought. All good things, but in the past few weeks I’ve stumbled onto a blog/podcast that has challenged and inspired me, especially in my motherhood, “homemaker” role, but truly in every area of my life I can think of. I’ve already gushed about it to some of you, but seriously, you guys should check her out- Allie Casazza, “The Purpose Show.”
Anyway, so I’ve been trying to find a “new normal” I guess, which is not always real consistent with a 7 month old. After all, I did lose a 3 hour battle today, trying to get him to nap. Normally, he naps great! I’ve been trying to do some things differently and work on a routine of sorts. I posted a little about that a few weeks ago. So here are my “things.”

1. Doing ONE load of laundry every day. I gather up the clothes from everyone’s baskets in the morning and throw them in. Then sometime during the day, I dry them (and usually at another point in the day, dry them agin 😂), then I make sure to fold them and put them up every night before I go to bed. One reason  this method would not work for you: 1. If you have something against washing everything together, because I definitely toss it all in.
It toook me a day or so to catch up so that I’d only have one each day, but it truly has helped!

These things don’t fit together at all, by the way lol

2. “Training” my hair, so that I don’t have to wash it daily, because it SAVES SO MUCH TIME! I realize that I’m late to this party, but my hair is so fine/thin and gets oily easily so I’ve always felt like I needed to wash it daily. This week is my second, and I have washed on the 1st and 4th days. That third day is rough, and I wear a hat if I go anywhere. Everything I read about it says your hair will “get the hint” after a few weeks since it’s a “cycle” you have to break. If you wash daily, your hair creates more oil. In short, I can already tell a difference on wash day because my hair feels healthy! Hoping for good results.

Ok, last thing. Hear me out on this. I haven’t even typed it out and I can feel some eye rolls coming, and I if I hadn’t tried for myself, I would be one of those eye rollers too, because “who has time for all that!”  So...

3. Making my own baby food. Now, I don’t get too crazy. I still store buy some, and I don’t have anything against store bought, if you’re wondering. But, there are several that are EASY and CHEAP.  
A lot of them can be steamed super quick (grab those steamer bags from Wal-Mart. I don’t even own a steamer basket), or butternut squash, for example, cooks easily in the oven. When I was telling my bf about this stuff, she says “So what all equipment do I need for that?”
Blender
Ice trays
Ziplock bags.
That’s it. I cook it, throw it in the blender, freeze it in ice cube trays and then store it in ziploc bags in the freezer (for up to three months!).  So far, I’ve done butternut squash, peas (frozen), zucchini, carrots, bananas, apples (a tad more involved with the peeling and cutting), green beans, sweet potatoes, pumpkin (canned)... I think that’s all. If you’ve done this, or have any other ideas on it, I’d love to hear them.
Just for example, a pound of carrots is .78. I can make 7-10 (or more) servings with that, as opposed to 2 store bought servings for $1.28.

Ok, so that’s that. And just in time. I’ve been finishing this post while sitting in my car outside my house because Jett was finally sleeping. 😅 What weirdo things have you done in the name of a sleeping baby?!

#takeiteasyonmymommaheart

My babiest baby is seven months old today. How? I know everyone feels like time moves in fast forward, but I truly cannot wrap my head around how he is seven months old. We are SUPER excited that my brother and sister in law are pregnant with their second sweet bundle! But, I  had to break the news to her that the second baby seems to grow even faster than the first. Maybe it’s because you sort of know what to expect and have seen all the milestones before. I don’t know. But it goes in hyper speed, and because it does, it seems like the urge to hold onto all the special moments is even stronger.
After we had Jett, we ended up staying at the hospital an extra day and were so ready to go home. I was so ready to be with my big boys and to wrap my mother hen wings around my whole family. However, as we got into the car to leave, I remember feeling overcome with emotion, realizing for the first time that it seemed so much quicker. I couldn’t believe the pregnancy was over, that he was already here and just like that we were on our way home. I think, for just a second, I grieved the end of that season. I can put it into coherent words now. Then, not so much lol I was an emotional wreck, of course, and that scenario actually went down more like this:
Me: Laughing, smiling, ready to go... two seconds later... bawling like a crazy person. To Tim, “This is just a warning. I’m feeling some kind of way.”
Tim: 🤔😑
After that “experience,” I wanted so badly to slow it down. I’m about to just be really honest and open, so if y’all think I’m crazy, so be it. When the nurse was doing my IV, she blew a vein. My skin has always bruised easily and badly anyway, so I had a huge- seriously huge- bruise on my left arm. I looked at it every day, wanting it to still be there, unchanged. If the bruise was still there, his birth was still close. I would reach around my back and feel the spot where the epidural was. Again, if I could still feel it, he was still a newborn. In fact, I remember the day, the moment, that I could no longer feel it. And to myself, I let out a few tears and reflected on the past several days with my new baby boy.
Overall, throughout my pregnancy, delivery and postpartum with Jett, I was a lot more enotional, so it was no surprise that I struggled some after we got home. It was kind of like, you know how if you’re going through a difficult time, like a break up or the loss of someone, you have this odd, lonely feeling that makes you want to stay in your house, because “no one out there understands,” and it feels a little like the world should not be going on around you, but somehow it is. That’s how I felt. And I was a little angry, almost, like “We just had a baby! Literally, just brought this life into the world and EVERYTHING is different!” And within a few days...days. Days. The boys have to go back to school, and husband has to go back to work. You’re just expected to go on, life as usual and I really wanted to be able to stop time, and “Can we please just have a minute to stand in awe of this perfect baby and this beautiful time in our lives?”
I soaked in those early days, weeks, and before long was feeling pretty “normal” myself. Our new normal, at least.
Then, you sleep a couple of times and are all of a sudden, taking pictures of the baby you had 2 days ago, sittting up and wearing a 7 month sticker. And in that same week, you may have had to register your first baby for Kindergarten, and question whether or not ice cream is still a valid celebration for a 5th grade progress report.
Sometimes, the growing and changing is more obvious than others, and puts a little more strain on our momma hearts. In those times, it serves us best, to focus on EVERY great thing that comes with EVERY changing season of our kiddos lives! (Life lesson credit goes to my own momma for this one!)
And for the love of mommas everywhere, don’t dismiss those more mature mommas, who stare at you and your babies with adoring smiles when you pass them in the mall or the grocery store. Welcome them. Engage them. LISTEN to them. Give them 5 whole minutes of your time and allow them to stroll down memory lane, to reminisce about the days we get to live now. Whether it’s the momma in the barber shop, whose “baby in that first chair is turning 16 tomorrow,” or the Cracker Barrel employee whose “youngest baby just turned 63,” I just know their hearts still feel that same tug, their throats that big lump, their eyes those soft tears, when they look back on all the time that has passed, seemingly overnight. One day momma, you will want that young mother to welcome you, too.

Intentional

I’m kind of a middle of the road-er when it comes to planning. Like, I don’t have the next 6 months of my life planned out by the millisecond (though I seem to attract people who do lol and I am so grateful for them and their planning antics because they keep me balanced!), but I also don’t totally fly by the seat of my pants (I know my favorite planner is disagreeing with me right now lol). I kind of have a general idea of what’s going on, and then let it ride. When I was working, I had to be very self disciplined because I ran my own schedule- and I did fine with that. I may plan which schools I was going to, or which kids I was going to see, but wouldn’t schedule it by the minute, you get the picture. But lately, I have been drawn to be more intentional. I LOVE these days at home, but after the first few days of trying to be on a tight schedule, I quickly let it go because that is not reasonable with a 5 year old and 6 month old- at least it’s not reasonable for me. And I’m good with that. But, it also is not working, to just meander through the days, weeks, months and wonder what you’ve been doing with the wind you’re sucking. So, I feel like I’m in the process- and I realize it’s a process- of finding my balance. Flexible intentionality, maybe? I just made that up.
God speaks in so many ways, and in the past two weeks He’s used a book and a blog by two similar, but different, incredible women to seriously get my attention about this, and a few other things: living intentionally, taking time for myself to be alone and to be with the Lord, to be present in motherhood, marriage and LIFE, overall, to THRIVE, rather than just SURVIVE, to be intentional and positive with my words, to clear the clutter from my home and my head and make space in both for WHAT matters!! And that means, asking myself to be really, really, really honest with myself about what actually does matter. I’ve heard twice this week, if you want to see what really matters in your life, imagine someone watching you all day, and what they would see that your priorities are. Let that sink in for a minute. Stings a little, huh?
So, this week has looked just a little different for us. We’ve cleaned Judah’s room and removed 6 trash bags full of stuff. Did a little organization to help him keep his room up better on his own, and we both feel a million times better. I’ve done some easy and obvious decluttering, like pulling out 4 trash bags full of blankets and sheets we haven’t used in the 3 years we’ve been in this house, threw out two lamps that haven’t worked in months, and a couple of baskets full of kitchen items that have been falling out on me every time I open any cabinet in my kitchen. Basically, if I don’t love it or we don’t use it, it’s gone. Oddly enough, we’ve still had time to practice math with sidewalk chalk, have a picnic and play at the park. And I do still have quite a bit of de cluttering to do.
This morning, after I got up with Jett at 5, I stayed up. I thought If I could get my shower out of the way, I’d feel good and save time later in the day. So that was great, but by now I need a nap lol However, the balance is that I decided to use this time, instead, while Jett is napping, to write a new post, which I’ve been wanting to do for a while. Annnd the other part (can we just call it balance, too? Ha!) is that Judah (who normally doesn’t watch tv during the day) is getting a little time with his favorite Duck Dynasty guys lol. He is obsessed. My 5 year old runs around hollering “HEY!” And “GOOD GRIEF!” like Uncle Si. Though, by now, he’s moved on to barricading me into a pillow hut and jumping on my head, so I’ve bought as much time as I can.
I’m excited to be on this “journey” I guess I’ll call it!  I hope to make some positive, lasting changes that will make me a better wife, mom and person.

Intentional- done on purpose; deliberate

“Where there is no vision, the people perish.”  Proverbs 29:18

10 days in the cocoon.

It’s been an interesting week. I say “week” loosely, because it’s actually been a good 10 days. This week I have spent more time with my husband since I don’t know when. I’m sure none of you are, but we are both guilty of getting into our own groove of taking care of our individual responsibilities and not quite taking enough time to focus on one another. Tim took off 3.5 days this week, and for those of you who know his work situation for the past few years, and especially recent months, you know that’s huge. We needed to be together this week. Cue The Script
 “ But we're gonna start by
Drinking old cheap bottles of wine,
 Sit talking up all night
Saying things we haven't for a while
We're smiling but we're close to tears,
Even after all these years,
We just now got the feeling that we're meeting for the first time.”

I’m thankful for the opportunity to work together this week, and the reminder that no matter who, what, when, where, why, he is my rock. My go to. My best friend. We’re one and the same. And I dare any challenge to step in front of us, when we’re working together. I often say, though a lot of it is not things we’ve shared publicly, several times in our marriage, we’ve walked through fire and not been burned. Not by our own doing, but because of the one we call Savior, and a smidge because he is we’re both stubborn enough to (as he would say) take on hell with a water pistol. THANKFUL.
More than once, the two of us were able to spend one on one time with Landon, which never happens with two smaller babes. Landon is a really. Good. Kid. He is a great big brother, and will try his best to please everyone, sometimes to a fault. He got a GREAT progress report this week, raised two grades in subjects that are tough for him, one by TEN grade points and both by a whole letter grade. The improvements are great, but what’s really great, is that smile on his face and chest sticking out 5 foot, knowing his hard work paid off. He is patient, and understanding, and my gosh, that child is incredibly helpful! THANKFUL.
There’s been a lot of changes in the making around our household, more of which I hope to share soon. One of those changes is that I recently became a stay at home Mom! It’s a dream come true for me (and that’s putting it verrry lightly. I promise to share more on that later.)! And this week, I had no job to report to, no appointments to worry with or paperwork to complete. THANKFUL.
We have the BEST village. It does take one, you know. And it takes both hands and feet for me to count, just off hand, how many people we have around us that I know I could count on at the drop of a hat. To bring groceries. Call to check on you. Watch kids. Ask for advice. Buy you lunch. And more importantly, to pray fervently and care deeply for you. We’ve had all this and more. THANKFUL.
Does anyone else ever need a good reality check? Like, you recognize that you have it pretty good, but every now and then (or daily) you just need a reminder of how good you have it. Like say, you have THREE healthy children. THREE. And you realize that even having a tough spot for a minute, is nothing compared to what some families LIVE WITH. EVERY DAY. And sometimes you just need a reminder that what feels like a broken leg, is really just a stubbed toe. THANKFUL.

Last Thursday, Judah was sent home with a headache and a 101.7 temp. We made a flying trip to the pediatrician (to the only appointment they had, which left me no time for a shower, wearing what I had on to take the kids to school, un brushed teeth, no deodorant and wearing a nursing bra. Just keeping it real.) and he tested negative for everything. Fast forward four days and we are feeling uneasy. At the walk in clinic he tested positive for Flu, type B- and just spent FOUR DAYS in close quarters with us all, including Jett. And would you know, NO ONE else caught it. Tell me He is not a MERCIFUL GOD. Tell me that prayer doesn’t work. Tell me that Psalms 91 is a fluke. It seems that a common theme in our lives lately is seeing His provision in times of uncertainty and trusting Him when it’s HARD. Yes, I get it, it’s just the Flu (my stubbed toe from previous passage), but let it be your child and your household and you might catch yourself losing your mind. And that, I would say, is such a testament to God’s mercy. You think you trust Him. You want to trust Him.
“Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!” Mark 9:24 
But when things don’t LOOK the way you think they should, it’s easy to tell that mountain to move, yet doubt in your heart that it will.

"Truly I tell you, if anyone says to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and does not doubt in their heart but believes that what they say will happen, it will be done for them.“ Mark 11:23

From Thursday to Sunday, I thought it was hard to split time between Judah and Jett. A 4 month old that requires you, and a sick 5 year old that just wants momma to hold him. Then on Sunday, we had to quarantine Judah to his room, and it has not been easy. Talk about feeling torn- and that’s when you get a glimpse- a very small one- very very small one- into the lives of some parents with ill children. And you pray for them. Like REALLY pray for them. And you repent. For taking things for granted. And I’ve had to do that this week. Not just for that, but also for making judgment calls on other people, thinking you know the situation, and you don’t.
We’ve spent hours lysol-ing, sanitizing, feeling like Mrs. Doubtfire, shedding clothes and bathing in sanitizer, going from Judah’s room to having to be near Jett. We’ve nearly physically fought with thermometers that wouldn’t read consistently. We’ve missed ballgames we didn’t want to miss. Made a trip to the ER after a fever scare. (Made a trip from ER back to Jacksonville in the middle of that, since Jett threw us a wrench and wouldn’t take a bottle.), “thankfully” the wait was 3.5 hours, so I didn’t  miss anything. We had several, some helpful, some confusing, conversations with nurses from the clinic. This was also the week my good sleeping baby started waking up every two hours all night, and teething. Y’all, it’s been a long ten days. BUT. In the big picture, and compared to all the goodness in our lives, it’s nothing. PLUS- my boy has been a TROOPER!! Seriously, his symptoms were minimal, and a lot of times you would’ve never known he was sick. I’m so so grateful for that! And he’s just hated having to watch movies, play games and have snacks delivered to him!
And what I’m REALLY thankful for, is that we’ve learned SO much lately at church, about the power of our words, and the effects of our speech, whether negative or positive. So even though we’ve had our times that we may have been an exhausted, crazy, hot mess, one thing that has kept us sane is knowing we have the opportunity of speaking life and health for Judah, Jett, Landon and our household, and the PROMISE that our words are backed by the blood of Jesus AND that
we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

I know it’s just the flu, and so many people have had to go through it this year, but I wanted to write this post because it feels quite a bit like we’ve been in a cocoon this week. Even though it’s been hard, truthfully, a lot of good has come from it and I thank God that He can use even thre messiest of situations for good. After I had the thought that we were in a cocoon, I looked up the definition,  envelop or surround in a protective or comforting way. 

Seems fitting.

Ordinary, yet extraordinary

For Tim’s and my first anniversary, I made him a scrapbook. In it, I included a page that outlined what a typical day/week looked like for us. It’s already fun to look back at that, because you have a “normal” that obviously changes, but it’s funny to think “when did it change?” Normal then and normal now, are totally different! I.e. then, we went to Cracker Barrel for breakfast a good 3 out of 4 Saturday’s a month lol! Anyway, this post is meant to be similar- a snap shot of sorts, of a fairly typical day at this point in our lives.
Jett woke up at 4:00 this morning to nurse. I will not complain, because he is a great sleeper! Prior to that he slept 8.5 hours, and afterwards he slept 2.5. Go Jett Jett Go! He acted like he wanted to goof up our sleep thing we’ve got going, by waking up several times per hour night, for Mom to re insert the pasi. Sooo, the pasi has to go. Today is day 2, and it has gone fairly smoothly, though naps are tougher than night time.
I woke up to my 6:25 alarm to get the big boys up for school. For Landon, I go in, flip the lights on, fan off, “good morning buddy!” Rub his head and back real quick, “time to get up and get dressed!” I don’t have to re visit him at all. He will dress himself (although sometimes requires a re do in that area lol) and come to the living room ready to rock and roll. For Judah, walk in, leave lights off, gently rub his back or legs, quietly “Good morning Ju. It’s time to wake up buddy.” Judah: “Uugghhh but I don’t like waking up! I’m hungry!” Me: What do you want for breakfast?” J: “I don’t know, maybe some dry cereal and chocolate milk. Can you carry me?” Me: “cover your eyes so I can turn on the light and grab your shoes out of the closet.” This process takes a good 5 minutes. Listen. Slow and steady wins the race in this situation! We came in the living room and he asked if he could snuggle with me “just for a little bit.” And since Jett was still sleeping, I could do just that! I’m so thankful for those times that I can say yes to those requests!
Normally, I would take the boys to school, but Tim had a follow up appointment from the sinus surgery he had a couple of weeks ago, so he took them today. It’s a treat for them when Dad gets to take them. We gave hugs and love, and I wished them a good first day back after the break, (boy did I miss them today after having them home!). By that time Jett was waking up, so I went to get him, nursed him, and we played together, trying out all his new tricks! He likes to blow spit bubbles, and can support his weight on his legs, so that’s a lot of fun! I held the teething ring for him to naw on (he already has two little tooth buds!) because he’s teething like crazy! I think he’s too little for that already, but no one asked me. After 1-2 hours I put him down for a nap, after reading Snuggle Puppy and Barnyard Dance, and swaddling Him. Since we’re Paci-less, I have to sort of juggle him lol to help him go to sleep. I threw some clothes in the dryer and some in the washer, and grabbed a shower.  He woke up after about 40 minutes, which isn’t normal. Teething. I gave him some Tylenol and we nursed again, and then he fell asleep in my arms to finish his nap...which ended up lasting nearly 3 hours. Everything else I planned to get done, didn’t. But I wasn’t budging. Teething is hard work, but it makes for great snuggles. During that time I had a running text convo on the daily family group text lol, and Laney and I covered everything from real life problems to momma hormones to babies and termite contracts.
When my boy finally woke up, he was feeling much better, with his happy, smiling, drool baby self!
I let him play on his playmat- that he LOVES- while I finished those 4 hour old loads of laundry. I got us dressed so we could go get Judah (today is the every other Thursday that Landon goes to his mom’s). I put little guy in his car seat, and headed out. Got two fingers caught in the garage door on the way out. Just another day in the life.
We went to pick up our grocery order at Wal-Mart. Jett hollered while the nice man and I loaded our groceries. Then we went to get Judah. I can always tell when he hasn’t slept at nap time because he’s a cranky grouch  beaming ray of sunshine! I’m usually responsible for “ruining everything” on these days lol and Lord help us if it’s a car line day! I have to give him a while to lose the edge (remember the wake up routine? Lol). When we first left he was NOT helping bring in the “grocies!” But during  the ride, he’d offered to “help bring in some ‘grocies,’ but not a lot, just a little,” and by the time we got home, he’d innovatively decided to use his bike handles as grocery carriers to bring the bags to the house from the car, and helped until the very last bag!
I ran a marathon  put up as many groceries as I could before Jett got hungry (you have to start with the freezer/refrigerator stuff because you’re just not going to get them all put up right away), and while I was feeding him, Judah informed me that I’d forgotten to put up ALL of the groceries. I put Jett down to play and finished the groceries, all the while hoping for a calm moment so that I could get some time with Judah. Jett struggled at his next nap, but finally went to sleep. So, Judah and I played a game  where he high fived my left hand for things he liked and right hand for things he didn’t. It was my sneaky way of getting him to talk about his day. It actually worked! Then we played kitchen (he orders deer ribs for himself and cotton candy for his toy lion), colored in a minion coloring book and did a crossword puzzle.
We came to the kitchen to make dinner: turkey sandwiches for the entree, Doritos for the side.  Granted, most of the time I actually do cook dinner, often in a crock pot.
Tim got home and joined us for dinner.
Afterwards, Landon had a basketball game, Bulls vs Spurs. He played a great game and we won! He made two points, several steals, great defense, several drives, and built some confidence. Love watching that boy play ball! Judah schmoozed Ganny and aunt Velda for some popcorn and Gatorade lol.
 We came home. I got Jett ready for bed, while Dad and Judah watched a bit of Moana. Eventually, I took him to bed, tucked him in, along with all 659 stuffed animals, ate a bowl of cereal, and here I am. Dreading washing my face, but looking forward to my electric blanket that’s been heating up on my bed for 2 hours! Tim is next to me on the couch, snoozing.

Just another day in the life, folks! Ordinary, yet extraordinary. I wouldn’t trade it for ANYthing.  Me and all four of my boys, doing what we do.
I know this may not have been he most entertaining post, but this is one of those “mostly for me” posts.

FIVE.

A few days after we brought home Jett, I was rushing around trying to get him situated so that I could share snuggle time with Judah before he went to bed. That’s something we’ve always done, and it was really important to me that nothing changed for him when Jett was born. I mean, I knew things would change, but I wanted it to only be the addition of good things about being a big brother. I never wanted him to feel left out or less important. Like any parent, I had those odd thoughts and feelings about how things would be when we added another baby. I worried that I wouldn’t be enough to be a good mom to all three, that I couldn’t get everyone where they needed to be when they needed to be there, worried that someone would feel left out, etc. I also wondered how I’d keep up with the house, and for the love of all things, the laundry for FIVE people! And even though I didn’t have an answer for these things, I had given them thought. I was somewhat prepared just by having it on my mind and by talking with others about it.
What I was not prepared for, was the heart break I’d feel when I finally came around that corner to snuggle with the first baby I’d brought home nearly five years ago, only to find him layed out on the couch...already asleep. He looked 6 feet tall stretched out there. I’d missed him. Was this the new normal? And will someone please tell me where my baby went? I swear I felt the weight of a ton of bricks on my chest, and I felt like my heart would break in half. Who’s been hiding this secret from me? Why didn’t anyone tell me my baby was half way grown? I can’t explain how it felt in that instant to realize how big he was, and to recognize that I’d never noticed until then. I think I lost my mind for about two days. My husband thinks I did too.
Even though that was hard, watching him become a big brother has been totally worth it! Just when I think I couldn’t be any more proud of him, I get to watch his high maintenance, sassy, my way or the highway little self, melt into the most caring, selfless, protective, proud new big brother you ever did see. He has totally surprised me. I knew he would be crazy about Jett, but I didn’t know how crazy! When Judah goes to school, Jett gets all the lovin’ and I get instructed to take pictures of him smiling during the day. Every day, and I mean every day, Judah asks “Mom? How’s Jett doing? Is he eating good for me?”
Being a big brother is half of who he is, and being a little brother is the other half! He always has adored Landon, and I know he always will. Those two boys truly have something special. At breakfast this morning, Judah was still talking about how “Bubba whopped that piñata so bad!” at his minion birthday party yesterday. I wondered aloud to Tim how that must’ve looked in Judahs eyes when his big brother swung the bat and busted that thing! They still take baths together. They want to sleep together every night. They play basketball together, legos, and they wrestle all. the. time.  To Judah, no one compares to Landon! He’s his shadow when he’s home, and Lord help us all when he’s gone.
My Judah Bear is one of a kind. There is not another soul out there like his! He is wild and wonderful, and has the biggest personality of anyone, kids and adults, that I’ve ever known! He tells the best stories about hunting, “killing deers and eating their ribs” lol and finding snakes, and “when I was in college,” though “it was just a dream!” He never meets a stranger, and you never have to wonder what he’s thinking because he will always tell you! Judah is my funny guy and we love telling knock knock jokes at dinner! Sometimes they even make sense! When I tuck him in at night, he likes me to do “crazy kisses,” where I gum his cheeks to pieces while he hollers and pretends to try and escape, while saying “Mom, keep doing it!” We read books. He helps me cook dinner, and has to taste everything!
He is such a feeler, and experiences every single emotion in a huge way! He challenges me every single day in good ways, and hard ways too (of course, has nothing to do with us both being so hard headed!) but I would not change a single thing about him! He gives the best hugs and kisses and makes my heart flutter every time he says “Mom. I love you. But sometimes you stink!” Thanks, Febreeze. But, I’ll take it.
When I carried him, I prayed that my body would somehow be enough to help him grow strong and healthy, and that I could be everything he needed me to be. To this day, my prayer is the same, that through God’s infinite grace and mercy, I can be the Mom he needs, to help him be happy and healthy, and to reach his fullest potential, to foster those things in his heart, ordained by the Creator, to be who and what He is meant to be.
Over the past year, I’ve kept a note in my phone of things he’s done and said that I never want to forget! There’s nothing like having a second baby to make you realize how easily and quickly those unforgettables, get forgotten. So, today, while I’m celebrating my sweet boy turning FIVE Years old, I hope you guys can enjoy some of these unforgettables with me!!

1/22 Judah: "can you pick a boy?" "I don't get to pick! Jesus picks!" "Hey Jesus! Can you pick a boy?" 

"I don't want to go to school because he's gonna' miss me!" 

1/27 my baby can sleep with me and snuggle!

2/7/17 Judah (after a bad storm) "that was the angels going bowling and playing angry birds!" 

"Mom, I love you! I'm so glad you're my baby!" 

2/26 When it was raining earlier Judah said the angels were crying because Jesus went to Larry's pizza and they missed him

3/25 "I love your kisses the best, momma!" 

4/12/17 night prayer: "Jesus name, help the angry birds get the pigs. Father, we love you and we love gettin' those pigs. Jesus name, amen." 

4/13 after his ballgame to one of his teammates "holler if you need anything!"

5/6 after going to babies r us ... "mom, after we wake up can we go to the baby store? It was awesome!" 

5/11 "momma, I love you! But sometimes you stink!" 

5/12 after a T-ball game "we couldn't have done it without you mom!" 

6/8 "I like you mom! You're the best mom I ever seen!" 

6/15 Judah felt Jett move! He also had a dream last night that Landon was holding Jett and then gave him to him to hold. 

7/31 Judah in the morning. "I'm checking to see if my pee pee is big, because if it goes way over here, it's humongous!" 

8/17 Judah brought me a flower. I said thank you so much!! He said you're welcome princess peach! 

9/9/17 Judah: "I think there's some people in my booty shooting a firework! That's why I pooted!" 

9/13/17 Judah: First, we get my hair cut! Then, we save the world! Deal? And then, we get bubby, second!" 

9/14/17 our conversation this morning.

Judah: mom, why do people kiss?

Me: just to show someone they love them!

Judah: well, I wanna kiss Jaycee!

Me: aww! You love jaycee? 

Judah: yeah! 

Me: well at least she's a sweet girl! 

Landon: and she's sassy!

Judah: oh yeah! 

9/18/17 "you know what the best part about you, mom? Is that you're pretty!"

9/24/17 Judah- mom you don't smell like poop. You smell like a flower!

10/2/17 Judah put a ring on my finger "this is true love, is for you momma!" 

10/17/17 Judah at Landon’s parent teacher conference “that’s Jett Jett, sometimes he eats milk out of my mom’s boobies!” 

11/2/17  

Judah what do you want for Christmas? 

A girl dog, a kitty cat, a frog, Pine cones and my own house, food with a kitchen, and I want a mario race track with mario in it and I want a mario playset and I want a mario City world and I want bowser with Luigi and Yoshi and I want my own dishes and that’s all I want for Christmas! And I want another Batman car and the Robin car is the one I want, and a new bicycle and another shark. And that’s about all I want. Can you write that on my list? And I want some marshmallows, some real ones from Santa clause and I want my own Christmas tree in my room.

11/17 “I love you Mom! The best part I like about staying with you, is being with you!” 

11/22 “you look beautiful Mom! Have a good date!” (Before going on a date with Tim) 

12/2 going to look for Christmas decorations for his tree

Me: “let’s try the dollar general first, because they might have more Christmas stuff than the Family Dollar”

Judah “well dang bro! Let’s do it!” 

While in DG, he got some flowers and said “I was trying to marry you, Mom” 

12/9 “Jett can have this (his lion king lovey that landon picked out for him before he was born). Because I’m a big brother now and this is a little brother thing. So he can have it. It’s his now.” 

And my most favorite of all, on 12/3, Jett hadn’t slept much that day, he was sort of unsettled, like maybe his stomach hurt. He was laying on the boppy, fussing, and having a hard time going to sleep. Judah came over and prayed for him “...let Jett’s belly not hurt. In Jesus’ name.” and he went to sleep instantly, and slept so well for 1-2 hours. When we pointed out to Judah that Jett settled and slept after he prayed for him, he said Jesus told him to pray for Jett. 

Jeremiah 1:5 says “Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you.” We have known for quite some time that the Lord has a great adventure and plan for our little guy, but it sure is fun watching it play out! We are just thankful we get to go along for the ride! 
There’s no amount of words (even though I’ve sure given it a run on this post lol) that could say how much joy Judah has given his dad and me, or how much we love our boy! He will FOREVER be my Judah Bear!

We named him “Judah” for a reason, and we will ALWAYS “give praise for the one who is like God.”