Seek ye first

25 “Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink;  what to put on the weekly menu, grocery shopping, my kids eating drive through again and having too much sugar... nor about your body...gotta do something about this baby weight, who has time for the gym, what you will put on, the laundry is piled up again, One more dry cycle while I finish cleaning up...Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? 27 Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?

28 “So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; 29 and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 30 Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?

31 “Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ Or what if dinner isn’t gourmet and the clothes don’t get folded? And the floor isn’t swept? And I wore yoga pants again today. 32 For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. 33 But SEEK FIRST the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. 

About a year ago, I was struggling with these things. Not like the every day struggle, but STRUG-GL-ING! All the “stuff,” the “to do” lists, chores etc were soooo heavy. It was a Saturday, and I was sweeping my kitchen. I was mad. Really mad. Tim was outside doing yard work, and we’d planned for some friends to come over that night, which is something we both wanted, planned for and enjoy! However, I found myself so irritated that I was having to clean... it made me so grouchy with my husband, my kids, and I realized that all of these things I was doing, that I thought made me a good wife and Mom were making me a BAD wife and Mom! But it’s not like you can just stop. I mean, things have to be done so that you can function- clean clothes, food to eat... 

When I layed down that night, I sobbed. I told the Lord I was tired. I asked Him to forgive me, because my heart and soul is my family, but I was letting them down. I told Him I didn’t have the answer, but I knew this wasn’t how it’s supposed to be, and that I needed help. I began asking Him to help me see what was important and what wasn’t (as a mom, you know it can truly be difficult to decipher what’s necessary and what isn’t because it all feels like necessities!). One of the first things he showed me was the Christmas card- yes, I know it sounds silly, but it wasn’t necessary. No, Christmas cards aren’t bad, and it was soemthing I WANTED to do, but it wasn’t a necessity, so I let it go. And it bothered me, that after 6 years it would be our first without a Christmas card. But as I began to listen and He directed me, and from that day on, the load was lighter. He told me He was going to take it from me, and He did. Somehow, things still got done, but it wasn’t heavy like it had been. And even a year later, though I still need reminders, I said I never wanted to go back to “that” place, and by His Grace, I haven’t. There wasn’t anything I had to do, except be vulnerable to Him about where I was, and be willing to let go so He could be in control again. As long as I’m busy about trying to do it on my own, His hands are tied. To me, this is what it means to “give it to God.” I used to be really bothered by that statement, because it seemed so vague and like “how exactly does one go about that?” But I believe it all comes down to making a choice in your heart, to acknowledge you need Him and are willing to obey.

I wrote these notes down several Sundays ago. When life becomes a pressure and not a pleasure, you've stepped out of grace. 

THERE IS NOTHING YOU DO, except ALLOW IT!!! 

You need to be still. If you're busy trying to do it on your own, then what you get is your own result. You have to rest and let Him work on your behalf.

In he past few days, the Lord has been dealing with my heart about “seeking first the kingdom of God,” and when I went to look at that verse, I read the whole chapter, which lead me back here and reminded me of this moment that truly changed me. 

And so now, being in a different place, with different concerns, worries, etc He’s nudgjng me, and maybe some of you, to seek Him, chase Him, and the other things will fall in line.
And this year, we get to do a Christmas card again. :)