In Genesis 2:18 the Bible says "And the Lord God said, "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make a help meet for him." (Side note: Right now I'm wondering who all is going to stop reading because you think I'm going to tell you that your husband's life is the only one that matters and you are just a side gig for whatever he has going on. Spoiler alert. I'm not. Keep reading.)
A few years ago, not long after becoming a "help meet,"myself, I started to get really curious about what that actually meant. I had a tug on my heart that said "there's more." I started digging and found some really interesting things. Actually, it was more than interesting, it changed my heart, and my perspective of my purpose, my worth, and the reason I was created. And, I wrote it down on a piece of paper that I've carried in my purse ever since. and then I tattooed it on my foot.
The word "help meet" in Hebrew actually translates to "ezer k'enegdo." When you break that down, "ezer" means 1. to rescue/to save and 2. to be strong. It is used 21 times in the Hebrew Bible, eight of those times translating to "savior," and otherwise to "strength," and used most often when describing how God is an ezer [help] to man. "K'enegdo" means "against," as in "in front of, opposite, exactly corresponding to, LIKE WHEN YOU LOOK AT YOURSELF IN THE MIRROR." Stop for a second. Picture yourself, looking in a mirror, and seeing your spouse in the reflection.
"...and they shall be ONE flesh."
You are not designed to be your husband's supporting actress. You are designed to be his co-star. You are designed to be his mirror opposite, possessing the other half of the qualities, responsibilities, and attributes that he doesn't have, and he the same for you. Equal and opposite halves, completing one whole.
Genesis 2:18 could read like this: "It is not good that man should be alone. I will make him a companion of strength, who has a saving power and is equal with him."
With so much fuss in society about feminism and such, it becomes increasingly obvious to me that women, in general, have forgotten, or maybe have never even known, who they are, and how incredible and important they are. It boggles my mind to think of all the women, essentially, trying to be men, all in the name of feminism. Why would a rose go out of its way to prove it can look like a tulip, all the while forsaking the beauty that is its own?
We are created differently for a reason, and when we live accordingly, the result is true oneness with our spouse.
We've established that we are equal humans. But, we play different roles. The husband's role is to be the head, and wives, consider yourself the neck. One has to be the "leader," but both are equally as important. That's why Ephesians 5:22-23 says "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto (or as a service to) the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body." It doesn't mean "women, the man is in control of you, you're his servant and he gets to do whatever he wants." It means, someone has to be responsible, someone has to lead, and that someone is him. Just think about how it would work if your neck wasn't submitted to your head. That's not going to work. Should wives contribute and give their opinions? Should husbands listen to and include them? Definitely. But the responsibility ultimately falls to the husband, and even if they get something wrong (they're imperfect, just like us), if the husband is loving (as Christ loved the church Ephesians 5:25) and the wife is submitted, then the Lord has room to work on your behalf. I guess I'm sort of speaking in relation to family decision making, just because that's what came out, but it applies to everything. This isn't where I was intending to go, fully, on this post, so I'll come back to that on a different one.
There's one more mention I'd like to make to women, concerning who you are. We've all
1. Rises while it is still night. Nope.
2. Plants a vineyard. Notta.
3. Makes her arms strong and firm. ....crickets....
I'm 0/3, and that's not even half of the list. You get my point. If we aren't careful, reading that chapter will make you feel like a total failure, and have you making yourself a HUGE "to -do" list, which inevitably moves us further from grace and into works, or trying to earn God's love and righteousness, when it is already ours. In Proverbs 31:30, when it gives a summary of what makes her value "far above rubies or pearls" it says "but a woman who [reverently and worshipfully] fears the Lord, she shall be praised," which indicates it is her spiritual and practical devotion to God that makes her so valuable. It's her love and adoration for Jesus that permeates every area and relationship in her life, which causes her to do all the things and be all she is to her husband and family. It all comes full circle, beginning with a love for Jesus. Everything we do is unto the Lord. "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for man." - Colossians 3:23 What I'm saying, Martha, is, if you wake up before dawn, plant a vineyard and make your arms strong and firm, all in the name of checking off your list of what makes you righteous, you might as well stay in bed.
Since we're talking about who you are, women, you ARE the Proverbs 31 woman. You ARE far more valuable than rubies and pearls. You ARE strong. You ARE a rescuer. You ARE one with your husband. But, you ARE an individual, with gifts, talents, and dreams, all of your own, given to you by your Creator, for the purpose of loving Him and loving people. Know who you ARE.
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