One year ago.... reminiscing

At this time last year, Tim and I were in a hotel room in Conway, trying, with little success, to get some sleep. We had to be at the hospital at 3:00 a.m. that Wednesday morning. It was hot, the pillows were all wrong and we were overcome with excitement because we were soon to meet our baby boy. I remember that day, and even days before so well. Monday I’d cooked a roast in my crock pot (what’s new? Lol) and Judah wanted to have a picnic. He and I made our plates of roast and ate it on a blanket outside on the driveway. Well, I ate, he played. We colored with chalk and I was trying my very best to imprint that time with him in my memory (I guess it worked!), you know going through all the things in my head... “these are some of his last moments as the ‘baby’”.... “does he truly realize how much life is about to change?” ... Landon was spending the afternoon with his mom. We’d swapped the regular Tuesday since we were staying in Conway that next night. That Monday was also the last day I worked at Families, inc. Tuesday, the 19th, Judah and I went to lunch with my best friend, Laney before we headed out. We’d found out a week ago that day that she was also pregnant! Cue those hormones, and it’s no surprise that we shared more tears than pizza that day. We are pretty good at “cry baby” lunches. I remember having the hardest time leaving the house that day. It was hard, emotionally, but even almost physically. And it wasn’t even a “good” or “bad,” it was just emotional, period. It was something about knowing the next time I came home, everything would be different. Sometimes it’s hard to give up what’s great, even for what’s greater. When I closed the door behind me, I was literally closing the door to a chapter in our lives. However, as one closed, another opened, and now, I can barely remember our life without sweet Jett. All of my boys have been the beginning of realizing a dream for me. When I married Tim and Landon, I gained my own family! When I had Judah, I became “momma.” And when I had Jett, I got to walk away from a career and come home to my family. When I left Families, I knew in my heart that I wouldn’t be back, even though, physically, I had no way to prove it. I haven’t shared much about the details in that chapter, mainly because a lot of it is still being written. Though I will say, today, as I’m celebrating my “one year anniversary” of being Home, and tomorrow, my baby’s first birthday, this has hands down been one of the very best years of my life. Also the fastest. It’s been tough in some ways, and brought a lot of change and growth. Mostly though, I’ve seen, more than ever before, that God is faithful and He loves me, and He can be trusted. Some parts are not things I’d ever ask to experience, but given the chance now, I wouldn’t change it. How can we ever see God’s faithfulness if we never have to depend on Him? My hope is this, for anyone reading this:  I hope you get the chance to need Him in a way you’ve never needed Him, so you can see Him in a way you’ve never seen Him.

We made it to the hospital at 3:00 a.m. and delivered our perfect baby boy at 11:15 a.m. He surprised us big in two ways: 1. He weighed 8 lbs 2 oz, which was nearly 2 lbs lighter than expected! 2. He had the darkest hair!
I know that every mom says it, but I’m going to go ahead and say it too. I can’t believe he’s going to be one tomorrow. I rocked him tonight, read “Snuggle Puppy,” and sang him my own version of twinkle twinkle little star that I’ve been singing him all year ...
“momma loves you, baby boy, you bring my heart so much joy,
You make me smile every day, I hope you feel the same way”
I reminisced throughout the past year, longing a little for those precious newborn days, naps on the couch, nighttime nursing sessions, and all the milestones already reached. After I put him to bed, Judah and I made him a birthday cake while dad and Landon talked about their day. We read some Dr. Seuss, and after the big boys went to bed Tim and I put together Jett’s birthday present. It’s so funny to look back and think about anticipating a “big” change, and to now be fully settled into our new normal.
It’s also kind of funny how things come full circle. I was thankful to be with the man I love last year at this time, sharing our excitement and also our nervousness about the adjustment and changes, as he took my hand and prayed over all these things, and I am happy to be with him tonight, able to look back over the past year and see that prayer be answered continuously.
I am so incredibly thankful for that baby boy we welcomed one year ago! Jett Jett has changed our family forever, for the best, in more ways than I can count! He has the sweetest spirit, bluest eyes and the best smile! He is everything we dreamed of and more! Happy First Birthday to my sweet baby Jett Jett!